In my life group, we’ve been going through a study called The Art of Marriage, a six-week Bible study. In today’s session, the video posed a simple but profound question to people on the street: What is love?
The answers varied—love is a feeling, a vibe, trust, security, affection. Everyone had a different perspective. And that got me thinking: If love can mean so many things, how do we truly understand it? And more importantly, how do we love well?
Love as a Choice, Love as a Commitment
I’ve often heard people say that love is a choice. That makes sense—love isn’t just about how we feel in a moment, but about a decision to be present, committed, and intentional. If we define love differently from one another, though, how do we truly live it out in marriage, friendships, and community?
God as the Definition of Love
Scripture tells us in 1 John 4:8 that God is love. If God is love, then love itself is defined by His character—unconditional, sacrificial, and selfless. But here’s where my mind starts to loop: Can you define something using the same word? If love is God and God is love, is that enough of a definition? And even if I don’t fully grasp it, does that change the truth of it?
Loving Beyond Performance
When I think about what this means practically, I consider how I love the people in my life—my husband, my children, my parents, my friends, my community. If my understanding of love is rooted in God, then it should shape how I love others. Not based on how they treat me, not based on whether they meet my expectations, but in a way that reflects the love I’ve received from Him—unconditional, unwavering, and sacrificial.
Jesus says in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Love isn’t just about what we gain—it’s about what we’re willing to give. It’s a reflection of God’s love for us, demonstrated in its fullest form through sacrifice.
Living Love in Everyday Life
So where does that leave me?
It means that love isn’t always about a grand gesture. It’s about showing up, choosing grace, forgiving, serving, and loving beyond performance. It means I don’t have to fully understand it to live it out.
If God is love, then learning to love well means drawing closer to Him. And if that’s my foundation, then my love for others—whether in marriage, family, or friendships—should reflect that same depth, patience, and grace.
So maybe the question isn’t What is love? but rather, How am I choosing to love today?
